Bear in mind that the consciousness of the naked Self has already been awakened. This point — when the Eye of the Void opens — is the Ordeal of the Abyss often spoken of by Crowley; it is the experience of ZAX, The Tenth Aethyr”.
The choice that now lies before the Initiate is whether to ultimately follow the Left-Hand Path or the Right-Hand Path. Let’s take time to consider what this choice entails at this elevated stage. There are actually four shades of choice which are habitually made here, not two. Ranging from the most purely Right to the most purely Left.
1. True Right-Hand Path:
The Right-Hand Path Initiate (such as the Buddhist) seeks the extinction of Self. The ego is left behind on the shores of the Abyss, abandoned for ever. The Right-Hand Path Magister then makes every effort to close the Eye once again in an act of permanent Self-annihilation. In actual fact, the Essence is dispersed throughout the Void and the potential for Remanifestation remains as an unshakable magical Law.
2. Half-Arsed Right-Hand Path:
This is the path of most religions who profess themselves Right-Hand Path. Most of the followers of such creeds simply pay lip service to their beliefs or follow them blindly and without any philosophical struggle on their own part. For such, they never come near the Eye in the Void. It neither opens, nor is it existence suspected. They pay lip service to the greater good and the worship of their god, but remain slaves of the ego, the higher faculties unawakened. Those few who do open the Eye believe it to be a demonic abomination (as, by certain formulae, it is) and reject it loudly, falling back into the unawakened ego, but haunted by nightmares which compel them to inflict suffering upon others as punishment for their own inadequacy.
3. Half-Arsed Left-Hand Path:
This is a upsettingly familiar theme even among those who do their utmost to live accordingly to the principles of the Left-Hand Path. Any Left-Hand Path magician worth their salt will sooner or later stand upon the edge of the Abyss and behold Leviathan staring back at them. Some few will turn their backs in fear at this point and try to retreat, but once seen it cannot be forgotten and they are invariably drawn back again to stand upon the precipice, often for years.
The true Initiate will revel in the immensity of the Mystery of Self and Non-Self and will launch fearlessly into the depths of their inner Hell, opening their own Eye in the Void and Becoming a Black Magus. The problem that then arises is that so many of us – yes, even us – still carry the vestiges, the guilt’s and the attitudes of our Christian indoctrination within us, even though we swear that we don’t. Thus, so many of the Black Magi succeed in opening the Eye in the Void, only to then renounce the ‘lower ego’ altogether and live a life professing piety. Their intent remains true, their magical prowess is not diminished, but they are only half the God they could be and should be.
4. True Left-Hand Path:
This follows the previous course until the Eye in the Void has opened. But this Initiate – a true devotee of the Stooping Dragon – does not then seek an ascetic existence. Freed from the shackles of their everyday personality, they now return to it and embraces it as a long lost brother, with one enormous difference: they are now the Master, no longer the slave. They have transformed compulsion into Indulgence, actualizing the Formula of the Magus.
So why is this Remanifestation of the ego so important?
Why shouldn’t we just leave it behind, with all of its fads and foibles? Surely those who have opened the Eye in the Void are like Gods and the lesser things of Earth should no longer interest them?
The personality is the record of who we have been; of how we came to be at the place we now are. It is the guide to who we may yet become. All of the wonders that enthralled us as a child, all of the lessons we have painfully learned, all of the loves that have stirred our passions, all of the Keys to the Being we are, are encoded in that lowly little personality, so despised by mystics and magicians everywhere.
So reach out and draw it back to yourself, accept it fully with all of its faults and inconsistencies. They may have misguided you once, but you have seen through them now and can accept them for what they are. Embrace it wholeheartedly.
The ego may have been a rubbish master, but it will make a beloved servant. Without it, you lack all sense of purpose. Your ego is already encoded and conditioned by the things that inspire you and ignite your passions. It contains the Keys for your successful operation in the world. And make no mistake: this world is where you are supposed to be.
The Desire and aspiration of the highest, most spiritual spark of your consciousness is to clothe itself in flesh and personality and to Come Into Being here and now. The purpose of Initiation is not to swap one for the other: it is to open the eyes of both, perceive what is Real, and empower the entire Self to its maximum potential, chasing after the shadows of possibilities yet to come.
Source: Extract from APOPHIS, the Draconian Order of Apep by Michael Kelly. A Publication of the Order of Apep.
